Flight (Under A Stark Raving Moon) By Eve Reiland

[Video Description: Pale person with pink hair, brown eyes and wearing pink glasses and a gray and white long-sleeve shirt sits on a gray couch in front of an ivory wall with two guitars.]

This is a piece I wrote describing the experience PTSD and flight. It is really an overlap of several nights, one of them being New Year’s Eve. The photo included here with the captured moon is one I took during one of those flights in downtown Fresno.

This is the first in a 3-part series I’m working on related to lived PTSD experiences of fight, flight and freeze. Recently, I’ve had a breakthrough in memories and instead of disappearing on me again, they are sticking. It’s overwhelming, but I’m writing through the dark to feel the light.

All of these things, I’ve already survived.


Flight: Under A Stark Raving Moon

Under a stark raving moon you’ll find me

In my bare feet running through the streets

arms open wide, embracing the night 

Gulping in air 

unrestricted, I can breath

Finally, I am free

I am free and this moon calls me

She calls me past closed stores, metal doors, boarded up buildings 

and weary, abandoned people 

She calls me past a man who yells, “Satan, get behind me”

As he smashes a bottle on the bus bench

next to that church with a brick steeple

I run through alleys and grime

My heart is fire. My brain is fire. I am electric.

gravel and glass bite

There’s blood on my feet

but I don’t hurt and I don’t slow

Like the gingerbread man, you can’t catch me

You can’t catch me

The Boyz N The Hood take a step back when I arrive

off the sidewalk into the grass, their words die

They watch my every step

They watch my every stride

And their faces share what they don’t speak

I’m running crazy past them

I’m running crazy in the streets

Midnight strikes, a New Year has rung

With clattering pans and loud guns

Through neighborhoods and commotion I run

Wild eye and free, no one can touch me.

Nothing can touch me

Not tonight

Not while the moon calls me past all the places I shouldn’t be

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