Badass Activist | Eve Reiland

So many emotions and thoughts I have that feel isolated I think are shared by many mothers | Circa Nov 16, 2005

Wed, Nov 16, 2005, 6:18 PM | Email From Me To Blogging Friend

Such emotions. It’s so nice to read your blog. So many emotions and thoughts I have that feel isolated I think are shared by many mothers.

Though you and I have different routes to children, we seem to be in a similar state in regards on thoughts of another child. I’d love to have another and yet, I’m nuts. I have no time now and I struggle to write my weekly journal (and for many weeks didn’t write it at all) and yet am trying to take on more writing projects.

 Your entry on ‘Loss’ had me in tears. Of course I’ve been in tears about that whole situation (or rather situations) but couldn’t put it into words.

The worry never leaves. I tell you that now – it seems my worries with Craig are small now compared to my worries about Jared.

Gangs, drugs, violence, not flunking math or even making it through another night of homework. I’d rejoice with D’s on his report card at this point. I swear if I have to drag him everyday though, Jared will graduate high school.

That must seem weird to someone who’s gone through so much college. I didn’t graduate high school until six years after I was supposed to. I did some time at a community college. My parents wanted me to do all of these things but didn’t follow through — and on the college they had no idea what it took to do it.

My grandmother went to college in her 40’s to become an LVN. Other than that I’m the only one who’s attempted until my sister. She is going to college now to become an RN.

Her fiance just graduated and was licensed and works at a hospital. So I hope his example will see her through. As it is my time when I get home is spent in struggle with 7th grade homework. It shouldn’t be this hard. I’m filling out a IEP request today and taking it in tomorrow.

I’ve hit the end of my line — school just shouldn’t be this hard. I worry so much of everyday about Jared. It’s almost like he’s demanding his turn for my worry stone after the past two years of so much focus on Craig’s adoption journey.

Rather… actually I must admit. These issues were present then but I was so taken with the other I couldn’t fight his battle too concurrently. How terrible is that, the juggle of children? 

I just wanted to say hi really quick (I stole time from work to read your journal lol). I hope you and your family enjoy these holidays – or simply just the new season!


By Eve Reiland

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