Fri, Sep 20, 2013, 11:23 PM | Email From Me To Friend While I Was In Psychiatric Care At Stanford
I’m in the new ward and I can’t believe how fucking amazing these people are to me. This place is gorgeous and comfortable. I’m able to walk around freely and be in the common room.
After 24 hours I can even walk about outside of this unit too. They don’t lock the doors. They have a balcony overlooking the grounds (gorgeous) which I can sit on tomorrow if I want. The doctors assure me I can be helped and I can get better. One lady has been trying to get in here for years and no availability.
This is my gift from the Universe. My roomie is an adorable elderly lady with soft short curls and her name is Toni. I start cognitive behavior therapy, some other therapy and hypnotherapy on Monday. It’s a really intensive thing I’m told.
Hypnotherapy they’re going to put me into the seizures and talk me out — more complicated than that but easy as I can understand it at the moment.
I’m also going to get physical therapy and speech therapy to teach me how to work my body through this when it happens too. After this I’ll have an outpatient doctor here who actually treats conversion disorder and specifically PNES (Psychogenic Non-Epileptic Seizures).
This is going to be difficult, but I’m worth the fight. Hell, these days I wake up swinging.
To be brief, I know now I was sexually harmed by six people. Raped by my first boyfriend four times.