Hope flavored Tragedy? Wow. | Finding Cooper’s Voice 

This morning we are becoming members of a new church. This is our place. We love it there. Of course we had to find someone to watch Cooper. He can’t go. He can’t sit or be calm. This would be setting him and our family up for failure. I like to be honest with you. I’m sad and a little bit angry. But not at anyone or anything. Just the situation. It plain old sucks. I hate that we can’t all go. I hate that everything is such a big deal. I hate that it looks like I have one son…not two.

The church asked us to bring a family picture. Four members not three. Sigh.

Also, this church is wonderful. We chose it because they want to work with us on inclusion for Cooper. And trust me, we’ve looked at a lot of churches. I say this because sometimes I feel like people want to be angry at someone or something over inclusion. This isn’t anyone’s fault. Cooper simply can’t go. He’s not able too. It’s okay for that to be the answer sometimes.

I’ve also thought of every way we could make it so he could go. He can’t. Please don’t suggest anything.

For a few minutes I’m going to sit here and be bummed. I’m going to drink coffee and jump in that rabbit hole where I wonder if it’s always going to be this hard. Will I be getting a babysitter when he’s 15 and 30? I let myself do this because it’s healthy. Think about reality sometimes.

And then, I’m going to switch it off and be thankful. Thankful for an uncle that will watch his nephew. Thankful that Jamie, Sawyer and I are able to share Cooper and severe autism with the world. And educate, advocate and keep him relevant in a world that he’s not ready to be a part of yet. Thankful for ABA and therapists that have helped us so much already and want to continue to help.

And thankful that I have hope that someday, maybe, just maybe, he will be able to join the community.

And I’m going to get up, get ready, and smile. Like I always do. And choose hope.


Photo Credit: Kacie K Photography

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.