Autism and mirroring

the silent wave

I was learning how to be a doctor.  I was steeped in anatomy, physiology, biochemistry, clinical diagnosis, physical diagnosis, pediatrics, geriatrics, and plenty of “this factoid will likely show up on boards.  Hint” moments.  The blood (draws), sweat, and tears I was putting into this eight-year project held great promises of a brighter tomorrow.  (Heh.  Not quite.)

But there was one catch.  (Isn’t there always?)  I’ll tell you a little secret.

I had absolutely no clue how to interact with people in general, let alone while wearing a white clinic coat.

So, I’ll tell you another little secret.

Just as I had in childhood and all throughout my life thereafter, I postponed getting right out there and throwing myself into rooms with clinic patients during my internship.  I took the first month or two, and I sat back and watched.

Unfortunately, the other people in the clinic provided poor examples. …

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The Autistic Man

Poetry Of An Aspergian


No one considers

The plight of man

The autistic man

Cunning but curious

At the things he must do

To feel such emotion

Power and powerlessness

In the palm on control

He never knew

We grow up as outcasts

Because we don’t know

How to play

Special interests dominate

What we think, do

And say

Selfish we must be

To put out of our minds


Except for this magical thing

We cannot seem

To do without

Our posture is funny

As is our fashion sense

The way we hold our hands

Or stare into the crowds

We may be silent

But in ignorance of our presence

Breaking normality

We speak loud

Growing up takes a toll

No friends in school

Or very, very few

Unable to be ourselves

Or else attacked

By you

Who don’t recognize

The beauty

In neurological difference

The possibility

With our magic

Exponentially endless


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Permanent Sterilization

Atypical Female

I decided long ago that having a child is just not something I wish to do. I have not wavered from this choice. I have never received so much unwarranted judgement for a seriously personal decision. It is fascinating how people seem to take this news. Like that it in any way, shape, or form, has a direct impact on their life. Responses range from shock, disbelief, amusement, confusion. Confusion is always my favorite. “Wait what?” “Isn’t that like your job?” “It’s what you were put on this Earth for.” I get these types of reactions from men, but even harsher judgement from women. “Don’t you want to be a mother?”. Uh, no, no I do not. Hence the conversation. “There is no love like the love for a child”. Well I wouldn’t know, but I am doing just fine with my love for self, travel, chocolate, independence, shopping, learning…

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Permanent Sterilization: Part II

Atypical Female

As I’ve stated in part I of this post series, having children is something I do not ever wish to do. I have made it 27 years and have not swayed from this decision. So, why deal with the stresses of menstruation, monstrous cramps, bloating, tampons and birth control for the remainder of my childbearing years? I cant find a good reason to put up with it. So for this reason, I have searched out options for permanent sterilization, in combination with procedures to end my menstrual cycle. I am excited to say that my pursuit for sterilization has finally been met with success. I have found a surgeon who is willing to take on my case, and I am officially scheduled for surgery. When I met with the surgeon I was very apprehensive, as this was the second physician I had consulted with about methods of sterilization. My previous…

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On “The Spectrum”

Eclectic Autistic

I like the phrase “autism spectrum.” I use it in the tagline of this blog (“Days in the life of an adult on the spectrum”), and “on the autism spectrum” (or just “on the spectrum”) is my go-to substitute for “autistic” when I want to switch things up a bit. But I have to admit that the spectrum metaphor has some major problems.

The main one is that the idea of a spectrum calls up things like the electromagnetic spectrum, which gives the impression of something linear. Visible light falls within a particular range, for example, and each color has its place; it either has this wavelength or that one. We can speak of high-frequency or low-frequency radiation, and relate different types of energy by where they fall with respect to each other.

So people treat the autism spectrum as similarly linear, through the use of functioning labels and phrases…

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